The AEC debate

Comment brasser de la marde 101

Par rapport au post "le ciel nous est tombé sur la tête" de Anne dans le forum AEC. C'est comme une petite guéguerre de madamme sacoche qui s'osstine sur un sujet assez heavy, pis finalement, ça mène vraiment nul part. "This shit is going nowhere fast!" Papa est ben tanné de lire ça et va fort probablement "canner" ça dans les vidanges.

Comme si enfanter soit même était mieux que d'adopter. Comme si on pouvait être enceinte du coeur pendant 2-3 ans et là tout d'un coup, toute sacrer ça là parce que on est enceinte du corps. Comme si...

Ben quand tu ne sais pas de quoi tu parles, TU FARME TA YEULE!

Papa a la chance de faire les 2, bio et adopté et y'a pas un qui est plus important, plus le fun, plus noble, plus hot que l'autre. 2 enfants égale. Différent mais ÉGALE! C'TU ASSEZ CLAIR?!! Y'A TU D'AUTRES QUESTIONS?!!

The Diamond Girl

Last Saturday, it was the bachelor party. Dad's best friend is getting married in a month and it was time to highlight/celebrate the moment. So dad organized a series a activities - few of thoses had to be canceled because of the rain. They went at the Colossus movie theater to play at the game arcade before watching the third part of Bourne. Back home, three others guys were allready there waiting; beer, pizza with bacon and the most profound discussion about what strip club should they choose for tonight's boys night out. After hours of comparing and debating, it was finaly decided: Bar le Garage. Yeah ... Le Garage. What the h... Who came up with such a name...

Once there, dad was suprisingly releaved and even amazed how nice and clean the place looked. Good service, everyone is nice and polite, and the girls were extra nasty with the bachelor when he was asked to go up on the stage, sit on the provided chair and stay cool the whole 10 minutes. Usualy, getting slapped with your own belt is not something funny except when you're getting slapped on the behind by 2 realy good looking women and you're face down on the floor butt naked in front of 150 other guys... Good times!

Good times ... until she came. Diamond. Like a bird right out of hell, toute de noir vêtue, she had this dark gothic part leather part latex look that everyone is mistifiyed by. Her name was Diamond. When she came up on stage, dad was stunned; not because of her looks nor her extreme presence but because he had the feeling he saw her somewhere before... But wait. He knows her! Not Diamond, Jessica!

- Oh my god! It's my ex!

Dad could not blink, could not move, staring at the stage breathing lightly.

- Nah, it can't be. Not possible!

But there she was, a couple of feet away moving around the pole. He remembered going out with this girl for 2 months many years ago. They had fun together but they broke it off because of the differences in character; she was a night women, whearing only black all the time, working in a restaurant at dinner and going out to bars and raves pretty much every evening. Dad was more of a daytime guy (still is), whearing jeans and a tie, working as a computer programmer and not going out much. And there she was... Dancing at the Garage. It was the longest 35 seconds of the evening until he realized it was not her...

But the resemblance - oh so striking - unbelivebly close.

'Brings back many memories of Jessica... The good ones. Memories of wonderfull nights, coming back home at sunrise helping her up the stairs because she had too much to drink, putting her to bed, sunday monrning coffee with a good breakfast talking about everything and nothing sharing thoughts and dreams. Two wonderfull months.

- Little vampire, I hope you're well and happy.

The Snow

Dad says that 4 seasons tires in a snow storm is total bullshit. Oh, I'm not supposed to say that word so I'm gonna say it very softly... Allmost whispering... Bullshit... Tchuuuut! He said a lot of words that I'm not suposed to say while trying to get the car out of the parking lot this after-noon. Too much snow... He was not a happy camper. Tchuuut...

Papa dit que les pneus 4 saisons dans une tempête de neige, c'est de la grosse marde! Oh, je ne suis pas supposé dire c'te mot là, donc on va le dire moin fort ... de la grosse marde ... chuuuuut. Y'a dit plein de gros mot dans l'auto tantot en essayant de sortir du stationnement de la gare de train. 'Pas content! Chuuuuut!

Mais là, y'avait juste a attendre que la grosse pèle passe... Tsé ... 4-5 minutes et ça arrivait. Ben non, fallait qu'il sorte là là et que le fond de l'auto frotte tout le long et qu'il reste pogné genre 10 fois a spiner et à balancer l'auto avant-arrière-avant-arrière comme un cheval confus. Bravo papa!

Il s'est finalement sorti de là avec l'aide de 2 gentilles madammes qui ont poussé pendant que super papa polissait la surface du stationnement tel une zamboni avec des pneus nu-fesse. Au moin, il a eu la classe de remercier les madammes une fois rendu de l'autre côté de la rue. Je n'ai pas tout compris mais en arrivant à la maison, maman était déjà en train de creuser un trou pour que papa puisse rentrer dans cours; y'a baissé sa fenêtre et y'a crié quelque chose du genre "jeep", "4 par 4" et "j'en ai mon **biiiiiiii** de voyage de c'te **biiiiiii** de neige là".

En tout cas, moi j'aime ça la neige.

The Pictures

How hard can it be?! I mean, dad ... Come-on! Make it right this time!

Dad took some pictures of the living room. Apparently, the Chinese government wants to see how the living room looks like... The thing is, the pictures submited were too dark - the nice lady at the agency couldn't see the couch enough. So dad took some more pictures with all the light on this time. Flash here, flash there - flash everywhere ... Then, the pictures were magicaly transfered to the screen machine with buttons but dad still looked upset : "still too dark", he said! The pictures were then tranfered again to another machine with buttons, but this one has more screens. Sitting in front of it, he displayed all the pictures and started saying strange words like "Gamma correction" and "contrast", "brightness", "mummmpff", "pfffffff - too dark - nehhhh" and some other words I'm not allowed to say.

Today, mom will take the little plastic thing that I'm not allowed to touch and bring it to the shop to print the pictures and deliver them to the agency. Hopefully, it will do.

______________________________________________________

It did not do!! The pictures on the plastic thing were no good. It could not be printed. Mom called Dad and told him that he'll have to snap the living room aaaagain... They started arguing about not beeing able to print on some machines and beeing able on others and the plastic thing having some booboo's on it ... Mum told him that she did her best but the machine could not read the plastic thing or somthin'. Daddy realy wanted to send the pictures today ... So he kind of lost it! He left work without saying bye to anyone, ran to Bureau en Gros, bought a photo machine that makes pictures just like at the shop, went home and re-snaped the living room with the light of day comming through the opened blinds. Print - go - com'on!

Perfect, he said! The pictures were perfect.

Then, he jumed in his car, drove like a maniac to the agency or where he thought the agency was, could not find it because he forgot to read the address right. Called 411 to get the right adress but they don't have it, they have no clue what Enfant du Monde is; no address, no number, nothing. He drove back home faster than before going through red lights and stops, ran in the house, got the address on the internet and confirmed with the agency that it is realy on H-Bourassa West not East. Right! Ok! 'Jumped back in the car, drove back to Montreal like there's no tomorrow dodging other cars and people crossing the street, u-turning where I don't think it's allowed and parked in a spin using the lever thing between the seats... Woooof!

My daddy is officialy crazy.